this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
