I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
