It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
