Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
