We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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