Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
