Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
