I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
