Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
