We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
