Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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