Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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