Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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