Christians are straight up FREAKS
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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