Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize