walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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