Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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