I cockslap morals
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
