The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have aggressive nipples.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
