I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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