dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
