I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
