he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize