Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
