Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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