Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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