...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
