The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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