You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
