She announced her abortion via fbk
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
