Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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