ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
