Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
