How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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