Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize