He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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