Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
