I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
