I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
