yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
