please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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