so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's just like the Real World with babies
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
