You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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