This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
