so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
