Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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