I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
