Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Farmville is her only friend.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
