Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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