Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize