Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
