I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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