I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize