in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
