What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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