I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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