she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize