Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
