oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
